An interesting thought was brought up the other day by a friend. It's one that I've heard before, even thought over myself, and one that, I'm sure, many single people have debated for themselves.
It was that, if you could, would you want to know who you were supposed to marry?
My answer is no. Yes, I would love to be spared the hassle, questions, decisions, time, emotions, struggles, etc. that come with the pursuit of a productive, pure, Godly, single life. Who wouldn't? But, ultimately, I believe my time (and most peoples' time) between young girl and married woman, is a refining time. The argument can be made that if you know who you're meant to marry, you could be even more productive in your single years and your preparation for marriage. It would free you from the worry, planning, waiting, and (possible) trial and error. There'd be much less, if any, emotional ups and downs. It would probably eliminate any heartbreak. It would take a huge prayer focus off your list, thus freeing you to be more focused on other points of ministry and maturity. It might give you a better idea as to what career choices would be the most beneficial for your future. You might even be able to figure out what your kids would look like! And for girls: we'd know what our new last name was going to be!
Even with all these bonuses though, I still would rather not know. All of life requires much faith, trust, leaning on God, and trusting Him with the coordination of my future marriage is just one more test of faith. [Though, "test of faith" has such a negative ring to it... maybe "reward-for-faith opportunity."] There are many struggles that God has presented for me (and many more that will come, I'm sure), so it's not like I'd be lacking growth opportunities if we took out this one variable. And I'm fully aware that a successful, rewarding, happy marriage takes loads of work, communication, faith, and patience, so I'm not hoping that getting married is the hardest part and it'll be happily-ever-after from there. I do think that my time as a single woman has, and will be, indispensable for the maturing it allows. It helps me focus on the purpose of my work for the Lord's glory. It helps me rely on Him for emotional fulfillment. It helps me trust Him with my complete future. It helps me NOT fall or get my hopes up for every guy that shows potential as I want to be able to give my whole heart to my future husband (this is great training for remaining emotionally faithful in the future). And it's freed me to learn as much as I can by watching other marriages, couples, and families.
Every variable in our lives presents us with the opportunity to go to Him, trust Him, choose Him, be satisfied in Him, and rejoice in Him. It also allows Him to take us by surprise with the incredible blessings He's planned for us. It's like not knowing what is in that little package under the Christmas tree. It's so hard to wait until Christmas morning, dying of curiosity, but the joy of discovering you've received gift you thought you'd never get... the trial of waiting is suddenly so trivial. Waiting is almost a right of passage to many things. Wait until you're old enough to drive. Wait until you've saved enough for that guitar, car, house, etc. Wait until dinner's ready. Wait for God to bring a potential spouse into your life in HIS time and when HE thinks you're mature and complete enough in Him. Wait for God's blessing to pursue marriage. Seek wisdom and counsel so you're always actively waiting and never wasting your life. Trust Him with the outcome. Don't let it become a focus, just let it be another aspect of your life that you give to Him. Something that makes you seek Him and lets you grow closer to Him so you can know His will.
These are my thoughts (albeit, partially incomplete). This is my logic behind my answer. I'm not about to write the "Authoritative Guide to Godly Single Life". This is just what I've come to believe after much studying, prayer, thought, and learning. I haven't perfected all the points I brought up. I'm daily striving to trust God more and do His will. I just wanted to put down my reasoning towards a rather large question. And now that I think I'm done, I'll probably stew over the question even more as I go about my evening and think up even more to say. But I'll spare anyone reading this, and won't. I'll just let this be and move on to other, more productive uses of my time.
:-)
