Complaints and thanks ;-)

Since this is a private blog, if you're reading this, you know me well enough to know that my mom passed away on March 27th, and you've probably heard an earful or two about how I've/we've been since then.

First, I'd like to thank you for sticking around and listening when I do vent and try to figure out how to "move on" from here. A few of you have been through similar experiences, so you have a pretty first hand idea of what it's like. As you can I'm sure relate, it's difficult to know how much venting will help, who you can open up too, how much you should open up, what you need to keep quiet about and work though on your own, etc. etc. etc. And, even if you haven't lost a mother, everyone has been touched by some tragedy or hardship at one point or another -they've had to work through it, lean on God, trust Him- and they've used everything they learned through that experience to help me (and I'm sure others) grow through this. So, to all those who have listened, encouraged, prayed, help shuttle, played and laughed (terribly important!), been there to do whatever, whenever, ...THANK YOU! Thank you. Thank you! Thank you! :-) We've been blessed with many incredible friends and acquaintances and I'm so thankful for all of you!!!!

Now, no, I'm not a Pollyanna, and not everyone has been amazing.

*This is my complaint part. You've been warned. ;-)

People aren't perfect and everyone I know happens to be human (though, some still have me wondering). It seems there's always a certain balance of good and bad in life, and that is no less true with people. Sometimes people just don't get that you don't have any emotional energy to lavish on them and they continue to demand it. Some will grieve "with" you, when all they're really doing is grieving on you (I've had a woman literally cry on my shoulder. Not cool). Others seem to think that talking about how hard it's been for them to live without Mom will in some way console me. (Umm, yeah. If I'm having a hard time as her daughter, I'm not going to be able to listen to how hard a friend of hers has it. Totally different ballpark as far as grief goes. And, yes, the loss of mom has made me rather selfish on issues such as these, but I've also been told that that's to be expected and quite okay. I certainly hope it is.) It's not that I don't like to talk about Mom or have her talked about. We talk about her all the time. Sometimes with tears, sometimes with laughs, sometimes quite normally. And we usually don't mind hearing her talked up. ;-) There's just a very solid reason I'm occasionally see a counselor/friend to talk through things: so that my friends don't have to hear all my troubles! I sometimes wish that people would show the same sort of consideration to me and my family.

It's been an interesting time to get through.

All that said, I do feel blessed to be surrounded by so many good friends and thoughtful people. Einstein said "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the first." While I very much agree with this saying, I think there should be one more thing on there: God's grace and love (okay, that's two). Every time I start to hit bottom, God always pulls through in some way, and it's usually through a friend or acquaintance. It's encouraging to witness how much he cares about us through His daily proof. Yes, it's been hard and I still wonder why it had to happen to her and in this time frame, but I know that it breaks His heart to see us grieve and He comforts us as much as He can and as we let Him. I'm very grateful for the comfort that He's sent my way. :-)